Last 2020 poetry for my lack of activity in this blog the previous year.

I approach the first month with apprehension,
With eagerness and anxiety.
I pray for something to end, to accept, to start.
It ends, I’m accepted, does it start?

I approach the second month with joy,
With exhaustion and melancholy.
I pray for success.
It ends, we succeed.

I approach the third month with excitement,
With fear and sadness.
I pray for joy for each one of us.
It ends, we’re filled with fear.

I approach the fourth month with doubt,
With hope and positivity.
I pray for change.
It ends, it does not change.

I approach the fifth month with exhaustion,
With fear and anxiety.
I pray for a wish to be fulfilled.
It ends, it’s not fulfilled.

I approach the sixth month with hopelessness,
With sadness and desperation.
I pray for an end.
It ends, it does not end. 

I approach the seventh month with determination,
With hesitation and indifference.
I pray for a good outcome.
It ends, it’s not seen yet.

I approach the eight month with unease,
With expectation and distress.
I pray for acceptance.
It ends, I am accepted. 

I approach the ninth month with worry,
With insecurity and despondence.
I pray I do well.
It ends, I’m unsure.

I approach the tenth month with depression
With fatigue and trepidation
I pray I meet their expectations.
It ends, I don’t.

I approach the eleventh month with lethargy
With desolation and despondency
I pray I complete everything.
It ends, I complete them.

I approach the twelfth month with anticipation,
With brightness and distress.
I pray we are complete.
It ends, we are.

The past year has been rough for most of us and I do agree. However, there were parts of my 2020 that blessed me, that taught me, that nurtured me. It was a life-changing year, we all can agree. 2020 was horrible but it was not so horrible for my case. There were parts that I disliked–hated even–but there were parts that I treasured, despite majority of the year filled with the former.

I hope 2021 brings a brighter perspective to all of us. I hope it becomes the rainbow after the rain.

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