I was gone for nine exact months. Then, suddenly, came back like a stray bubble. Where was I? Well, for one, the pandemic happened. Kind of shook me to the core. I also read a bad apple that kind of made me lose my appetite for the written prose.
But what happened during the time I was lost? Well, if anyone’s curious, and that is, if anyone still remembers me… quite a lot happened? I think?
I graduated high school. I passed the two college exams (and the only two I applied for) of the top universities in this country, De La Salle University and University of the Philippines. I chose the latter. I started my (online) classes last September. It was hell. The semester ended this January. That explains why I haven’t posted anything. I just couldn’t read or write anything unless it’s academic. It was the first time I cried over written words (I’ve cried over written words but because of heartbreak over said written words. Definitely a different story.)
I took BA History. Surprise surprise. I love history but I know completely nothing about it. It seems to work well… so far. Let’s see this second semester. Speaking of which, I’ll likely be gone again but I’ll try not to! I will still post book reviews, books I’ve read during semester break. I’d like to write here and there too… I probably will not worry about managing my time yet. It’s too far… too far. I just got over the side where things are calm and at peace. I can’t think of going back to war again, can I?
Anyway, I celebrated my birthday. I gained an award, I think, for topping my high school batch. Something like that. Other than that, it was days of when will this pandemic end and when will this semester end. Insecurity and anxiety eating every piece of me everyday. You know, the usual.
I really wanted to get back into writing and reading, which is why I am doing this again. I seem to be riding the waves really well. I’m still battling with my, for some irrational reason, fear or anxiety about writing. I’m writing though. I challenged myself to join the reedsy prompts exercise. Definitely not because of the prize uh huh
(unfortunately, I’m now a broke-ass college kid). The prompts help me get the gears working. The free verse poems too. I’m finding them quite comfortable now. Not really sure if I’m doing it correctly but it helps me deal with the anxiety I’ve been feeling all year (and the year after that…) and my overwhelming thoughts and realizations.
Will I ever get back on writing novels or even short stories? Not so sure though. I want to but some part of me says I’m unprepared. Another part is scared. Who knows? I don’t want to force myself and rush it. There’s no reason to hurry.
I do want, for this year, to be consistent in managing this blog. I want this to grow. It’s my New Year’s Resolution. I hope it does. And, I hope you’ll help me.