Voices On Paper

Am I the only one who hears voices in between the words? I hear them in my mind. They have different voices. Some, though, don’t have any voice. Their characters in one story have different voices too. I differentiate them through their voice. Some characters don’t have any voice either. Doesn’t have anything different. Is that bad writing?

I have my own voice as well. I think. I have a different voice when writing academic papers, when writing essays like these, when writing free verse poetry and when writing prose. I think there’s a bit of me in each different voice but they are different in some ways. 

I have always been insecure of my voice. My speaking and singing voice, yes, but my writing voice too. Big words do not come easily in my mind, on the page. The purple prose I use are clichés; I cannot properly express myself. Does the lack of big words and original flowery words affect my voice? Is that how you categorize a good writer?

I feel like my voice is too distant or too… static. No difference. I can’t give color to my characters. To the world, to the environment I’m trying to make, the moment I’m trying to pull the reader into. I can’t give enough voice to my characters. Or is that just me because I’m too tired hearing my voice over and over again as I reread and reread my own works?

Is this just plain insecurity or a problem? How do I work that out? I’ve been told that one must think of their readers and write to cater to those readers. Write words that they can easily understand. Big words do not necessarily mean good work. Also, I admit, I have a limited experience. There are things I cannot put words into, and being a multilingual, there are things I picture, I say in a different language, but can seem to find the English word or worse, no direct translation. That sucks. 

But yes, I have a limited experience. I lived and live in books and tv shows. I rely on them to make a world, whether contemporary or fantasy. Although, there’s an incomparable leeway when it’s fantasy. Could it be because I’m too young? And, I’m not yet ready to be a writer? I don’t have enough experience. Should I wait for my voice to mature?

When can I say I have a good writing voice? When can I say I need more work? How do I work that out? What do I do to become better?

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